Try this:
Managing wireless message reconciliation
Wireless message reconciliation enables users on the BlackBerry Enterprise Server to manage their messages so that message status changes are synchronized automatically between the BlackBerry device and the desktop email program. Wireless message reconciliation is turned on by default on the BlackBerry Enterprise Server and occurs every 15 minutes.
Turn off wireless message reconciliation if you only want messages to be reconciled when users connect their BlackBerry devices to the BlackBerry Desktop Manager.
The hard delete feature enables users to remove a message from their BlackBerry devices wirelessly when they delete a message permanently from their mailbox by pressing SHIFT+DELETE, move a message to a personal folder, or archive a message in Microsoft Outlook. Turn on the hard delete feature to enable users to manage messages on BlackBerry devices by reconciling permanently deleted messages between the desktop email program and BlackBerry devices. The BlackBerry Enterprise Server removes permanently deleted messages from BlackBerry devices in 15- minute intervals.
BlackBerry Enterprise Server for Microsoft Exchange System Administration Guide
Reconcile permanently-deleted messages
1.In the BlackBerry Manager, in the left pane, click a BlackBerry Enterprise Server.
2.Click Edit Properties.
3.Click Messaging.
4.In the Messaging Options section, click Hard Deletes Reconciliation.
5.In the drop-down list, click True.
6.Click OK.
7.On the computer on which the BlackBerry Dispatcher is installed, in the Windows Services, restart the BlackBerry Dispatcher.
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